Sunday, February 21, 2010

Colon Infection Causes

issue of fines. De gustibus non est disputandum

few weeks ago on the home page of the users of the world's most popular social network (Facebook for those who are ignorant on the subject) appeared rather bizarre comments. The posts were indicted by members of the fairer sex, very cheerfully, shared on his board the amount of a very fine salt, without the fear of shame can be run into such a high fine. On the other hand, although the equation "woman at the wheel, a constant danger" could explain why so and so many fines, the same is not in any way he could explain the general hilarity that the fairer sex share. Hilarity growing exponentially with the increasing amount of fines. From the perspective of the male population of our beloved faccialibro, after the initial symptoms of spinning balls, we began to ask the reason for everything. Personally, mindful of what happened a couple of months ago with the history of the color of the bra, I turned directly to Google. The wise man responded with his usual speed (milliseconds) and there discovered the mystery: a list of "sins" if made in the past that give rise to a hypothetical fine to be paid, that then the damsels placed on their profile. Here's the list:

Smoking pipes 10 €
Take tablets 5 €
Having sex in a church 25 €
wake up and not know who is the guy you went to bed 40 €
having sex with one of your Facebook friends 25 €
having sex in exchange for money 100 €
having sex with a stranger I have made
20 € 20 € vandalism
having sex in your parents' bed 10 € 20 €
beating someone
have paid € 25 a gigolo
Essert love with a gigolo 20 euro Aver
kissed someone you did not know
10 € 20 € drove after drinking and went to work directly
Be still half drunk 50 €
having sex in the sea / pool 20 €
kissing another girl 40 euro
Aver fatto sesso con un'altra ragazza 60 euro
Aver messo le corna a tuo moroso 20 euro
Aver messo le corna a tuo moroso con un suo amico 40 euro
Esserti masturbata 10 euro
Aver praticato sesso orale 10 euro
Aver ricevuto sesso orale 10 euro
Aver fatto sesso orale in macchina mentre il tuo lui stava guidando 20 Euro
Aver rubato qualcosa 10 euro
Aver fatto sesso con qualcuno che รจ stato in prigione 25 euro
Aver fatto un video o foto compromettenti 15 euro
Aver rubato qualcosa con valore superiore a 100 euro 20 euro
Averlo fatto in tre 50 euro
Aver fatto sesso in pubblico 20 euro
Esserti trovata nella stessa stanza mentre altri facevano sesso.25 euro
Aver fatto sex with someone 10 years younger than 25 €
having sex with someone 20 years older than 20 €
Essert love with two guys at once 50 €
have told someone "I love you" without really feel 25 €
having sex with Your best friend 25 €
having sex with someone of your work pretending
25 € 15 €
an orgasm having sex anal 20 €





comments were beautiful, except for those lost boys' , who exchanged the various friends, "but you're a saint!", "I'm just a cow," "Joseph, you're a slut," and so on ... Of course the members of the fairer sex basked nell'autocompiacimento do not know the exact male friends to their "sins" committed by them, as they say "is said to sin (the amount of the fine), but not the sinner (the individual fines). " So I asked myself, why do not we do it too? No, I do not mean to write about our profile what color are our underpants, because in addition to the classic "black" or "white" we would end up full of "well, I do not know the first were white, yellow in front after a week and brown behind "or" holes on the backside ... I say, make a list of things to do unspeakable scope unimaginably horrifying the purists of the most bigoted Catholics and Facebook our fines, to face them. Certainly the list of women is not good for us (for example, showing up to pay for sex: more than fine, you're my idol!), It takes a scratch. Tranquilli, men, I'll take, you should only have the calculator and 10 minutes to do the math. Here is a list of our 39 "deadly sins":

smoking barrels: 5 €
(decriminalized soft drugs) Coca
Pippa: 25 €
(penalize hard drugs)

colossal hangover: 10 €
(for the hangover headache)
Go to bed with an ugly woman: 20 €
(when we want, we want to)
have made a "bag Engineering : 10 €
(is called "Engineering Bag" a woman with a great body but a face so ugly to look like a Picasso, it takes more courage to kiss her that making love)

Having cursed loudly: 30 €
(with MasterCard)

have done dirty things with your cousin: 15 €
(come on, is not so bad ...)

having sex with your cousin: 25 €
(ok that "there is nothing more divine ..." but there are certain limits.)
Having made active anal sex with men: 50 €
(you Ghei said to be those who take, but not who by)
Having just anal sex: 100 €
(ditto)
kissing a man: 25 €
(of the truth, that after you liked it ...) Have
slinguazzato with a man: 75 €
(and outspoken?)
stealing something: 30 €
(it was not the 13th commandment?)
beating up another man: 20 €
(well from a little 'healthy bullying from school)
beating a woman: 80 €
(women do not touch even with a flower) Be
was beaten by a woman: 100 €
(raccontacela please, make us laugh!)
Hate football: € 100
(what kind of man are you?)
Make you suck lesbians: 80 €
(profanity who you are!)
Cornificare your girlfriend: 50 €
(come on, do not you)
having sex in 3: 2 men and a woman: 25 €
(and friction between the scrotum where we?)
hate porn: 40 €
(but man are you?)
Having an orgasm until: 30 €
(who believes he given to drink?)
Essert made an old girl on the threshold of menopause: 30 €
(vaseline ... and so on)
going to whores: 50 €
(more or less the average price of the service, no?)
Having sung the racist chanting Stage: 45 €
(just as an Italian medium)
Essert masturbated in the presence of only other men: 50 €
(how did you get excited?)
Vandalism: 35 €
(sei uno squatter!)
Non esserti mai rotto nemmeno un ossicino: 40 euro
(ma a cosa giocavi da piccolo? Scacchi?)
Odiare le cravatte: 50 euro
(no way…)
Avere fatto sesso con una minorenne: 50 euro
(pedofilo bastardo!)
Essere di destra: 25 euro
(sei uno sporco fascista!)
Essere di sinistra: 25 euro
(sordido comunista che non sei altro!)
Essere di centro: 50 euro
(sei inutile come il caprino su un cane bagnato)
Essere apolitico: 55 euro
(come un centrista, anzi 5 euro peggio)
Having vomited on to a friend: 10 €
(well it can happen)
Having vomited on your girlfriend: 25 €
(this can happen, usually you come out single ...)
Masturbation and multiple frantic during the same day: 25 €
(I would say more than 2 times a day)
Having groped a woman is not consenting: 35 €
(by the law, apparently, is sexual violence) have tried
sexual desire in relation to your mother: 75 €
(combining? The mother is always the mother!)

Let me do the math, I am an engineer, I do not need the calculator: 365. Both? Soon? Well, I do not know, let's see your results ...


What women do not say ...

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