Warning: this post contains purely grammatical disquisitions that we can cause intestinal obstruction to a corpse and that, therefore, could make you regret the good old school.
As I have stated, the Germans seem to be constantly invaded by Germanes and therefore it is necessary to the learning of Germany, their native language.
Let's face it: at first glance may seem like a fucked up language. Then, slowly, when you start to study it seriously, you attend class, you begin to utter a few words, you fully understand the Badassery of that idiom. If Latin has prematurely left this world because of its complexity and its variations, I can not explain how Germany is able to survive. Here we accept everything and more: verbs, adjectives, articles, pronouns. In certain cases (nominative, accusative, genitive, dative) the verb, adjective, article or pronoun undergoes a change minimal, but that is enough to send you into total confusion. Not only that, there are an infinite number of particles that are attached to the verb's meaning and change within the sentences a bit 'more complex move to right and left without any restraint or respect for anyone. For example? The verb "machen" (to do). Beautiful, I like it. But if I add "zu" (zumachen), I became "close", if we put a bell '"auf" (aufmachen) means "open" and a wonderful "aus" (ausmachen) becomes "off." Moreover, these particles can be placed or attached to the verb at the end of the sentence, obviously changing the meaning of the verb itself! But it is not over yet, is also used to say open "öffnen" and close using the good old "schließen", not we run the risk of confusion, no?
Sounds terribly complicated? Wait until you read the rest.
There are four letters in the good old Germanic language goes all proud, a bit 'like the English ñ is proud of her:
"ö" is pronounced as in our Varese, a beautiful "or" closed.
"ä" is pronounced "is"
"ü" the usual Varese with the "u" closed and narrow
"ß" is a simple double "s", the Swiss, from the top of their minds they thought to eliminate unnecessary and character I'm writing two times the "s". This makes the enormously angry Germanes without any delay claiming that because of this, to understand a German-speaking Swiss need subtitles in-real.
Despite the literal and phonetic similarities with the best dialect lumbaart do not try to say that in summer you Kalt, because you all look bad. Here more than a bit 'of Kalt you can have in winter, when days are short, the average is around ten minutes and you have to climb the ice fall and kill l’orso polare per rientrare in casa dalla finestra, a stento raggiungibile nonostante i quattro metri di neve.
Ma in fondo il tedesco è facile. La prima regola che ti insegnano è che il verbo è al secondo posto nella frase, sempre e comunque. A parte nelle domande, che è sempre per primo, a meno che non sia una w-frage, perché allora è sempre secondo o a meno che il tempo non sia composto, perché in questo caso va spezzato in due, l’ausiliare (o il modale) secondo e il resto alla fine; certo se ci fosse una frase subordinata, che non rispetta affatto questa facilissima regola di posizionamento verbale, il verbo della frase subordinata, appunto, va messo alla fine, anche se è composto, credo... Chiaro e limpido, vero?
Poi ci sono i pronomi tutti declinabili, il pronome relativo che è fatto dall’articolo stesso, dei fantomatici pronomi definitivi che mi fanno un po’ paura, uno strano complemento oggetto che a causa delle preposizioni si fotte gli altri complementi rendendo necessaria la declinazione, un bellissimo articolo negativo (kein/e), sei verbi modali e, last but not least, il fenomeno dell’agglutinamento (o agglutinazione?) delle parole!
Il Germanico è una lingua agglutinante, non vuole necessariamente dire che contenga glutine, bensì che parole diverse si uniscono a formare tante nuove parole dalla lunghezza allarmante. Esempietto facile-facile: “Fahrkartenschalterhalle” that is a bit 'to mean hall-where-you-are-the-door-to-do-i-tickets. But what is ahead in German?
Advice? Never use the word "obvious" in German: selbstverständlich, which misses a cock with clumping, but use a word so fucked up to say a huge cock is beyond any reasoning. I do not ever be using.
There is a possibility you have to ask what time it is. Well, in Germany the right words to use are "Wie spät ist es?" Unfortunate that translated literally want to say "How late is it?". To me that's okay Stakhanovism German, but this is pure historical pessimism of their ruling class, basking nell'autocompiacimento into believing that the subject is always late, yelling could do with Hitler, their favorite phrase: "Schnell, Scheisse ... Schnell !!!".
If anyone were to ask me how late it is done, I pledge to respond with something like "I do not know, but it is not late ..." The numbers
Germans behave so strange. Quiet, again applies the metric system and all good Germanes knows how to count to 10 using fingers and those using up to 20 feet, a good order of magnitude more compared to the Italians know that without a calculator to count up to one, but only because we reason with the pea. Children do not play here, however, to one, two, three - star, but at eins, zwei, drei - Polizei, perquotendo the victim that does not stop in time with wooden batons fleshy engraved with a swastika. But back to the numbers, if up to 20, for better or worse, we learned that each language follows an anarchy of his own (including Italian and German) here we are faced with the apotheosis of nonsense. Even in this case is the natural order of things to be changed. You have to say "twenty"? Get ready to say, one-and-twenty, all attached: einundzwanzig.
The climax is reached at 555 which reads fünfhundertfünfundfünfzig. An overdose of "u" that condemn straight to eternal damnation the most pious of the neo-Latin linguists.
Last but not least, if you happen to end up in Cruccolandia keep in mind the three most important phrases for beginners: 1
waste Ich kein Deutsch. (Literal translation: "I speak no German") 2_
verstehende Ich nicht. (Literal translation: "I do not understand") 3_
Busen sind Deine Riesige. Mochtest du ficken? (Literal translation: "Your boobs are huge. Would you like a fuck?")
Unfortunately they were also the only well-recorded phrases in mind idol Giovanni Trapattoni, who during his adventure in Germany with Bayern-scandal ended his interview with a fantastic "I am finished" (Ich habe fertig) rather than saying "I'm through, becoming a cult for young Germans, and also for Gialappa's.
PS I have tried all ways to find anywhere the famous "Ipse Dixit" Mai Dire Gol did that in '98, just the press conference Trap in Monaco, but my search did not match any result. Possible that in that vast sea of \u200b\u200binformation that is the World Wide Web, this piece of football history is gone irretrievably lost?
"Italy is a country in which there is a 'fascism lite' I do not like at all. Italy is a nightmare from which I hope the Italians wake up soon. Italy is the country I love. "
Daniele Luttazzi.
